This month I became 25. Next month will be 3 years since my first stand up gig. I cant remember the last time i had alcohol and I think the last time i was drunk was in Edinburgh last summer. Im still serving fish to the public but am now at Tesco.
Turning 25 was no big occasion. I neither se myself as young or old. I think age is seriously misunderstood by most people. I dont think i am the person i am going to be in 10 years time. I think i will be less cock sure of myself.
3 years in comedy and most of those who started at the same time or are at a similar age have passed me by and gone onto pastures new. I am bitter about this. Not to say im not happy for others, but my own success will always be at the forefront of my mind. Why havent I done so well.
- I havent gigged as much
- I havent written brilliant material
- My act is not consistent enough for promotors to book me.
If im honest, ill probably only work on the 2nd one. I dont enjoy gigging the open mic circuit in London, and tend to only do the gigs I like, so plan A is to strengthen my set. Im not particularly bothered that my act isnt consistent, i like that it is exciting in its ability to go tits up. The clubs that want consistency arent the clubs I aspire to perform at.
I still get lovely comments from audience members and comics who I believe genuinely like what I do and im proud of what ive managed to achieve. I still dont know what I intend on getting at the end of my comedy journey, but at the moment I guess im just cruising along waiting for something to hit me. A comic said to me "you know that feeling you got when you first stormed a gig.....it soon goes doesnt it". Hes right. Ill never get that same buzz. I think ive peaked really. Thats not to say there arent new and wonderful experiences ahead. Ive just got to wait for them.
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